Flash & Mirrors
by SailorSilvanesti
Summary: After an...explosive...incident at Stagate HQ, Sam and Rodney's jobs are on the line. This hilarious, random, adventure fic also finally answers the age-old question, "Does McKay have Heat Vision?" Sense, this fic makes none. Please Read and Review!


**Disclaimer: I do not Own Stargate: SG-1 or Stargate: Atlantis, or any associated characters...however, I do own a cat called Moonlight who is currently eating a feather duster...because she's crazy like that...**

**I had no idea where this was going...a strange scenario that occurred to me about an hour ago, so I wrote it...**

**Enjoy...**

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><p><strong>Flash &amp; Mirrors<strong>

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"You have no right to hold us here against our will, we did nothing wrong!" Rodney stated emphatically, glaring; the others of SGA-1 made certain to keep out of his line of vision for safety, the filthy look he was directing at the guard outside was enough to melt the bars! Thank God the scientist wasn't super-powered or they'd all be doomed!

Ronan, for his part, looked exceptionally amused by the whole situation; eyes trained on the –usually annoying- pacing form of Dr McKay as he strode back and forth like a caged lion, absolutely glaring at the guards stationed outside. Who, for their part, were beginning to fidget, beads of sweat from the intense scrutiny beginning to form on their faces…they should've known better than to mess with a man who single-handedly made Kavanagh cry [such an event was celebrated by a massive feast in honour of the deed, -to be fair, he really shouldn't have yelled at Miko (Dr Kusanagi) or hit Radek Zelenka, he was just getting what he deserved- while the other man had run through the Stargate in tears]…

A flash of said scene reappeared in John's mind as he lounged on one of the provided chairs, a smile quirked the edges of his lips as he recalled that he, Ronan AND Teyla had been required to stop McKay from using a Wraith stunner on the man. Plus, he'd also been forced to confiscate Ronan's blaster when he'd overheard the Satedan whisperingly offer it to the Scientist…which meant his own ass was on the line come sparring time…

"You are thinking of that time too, are you not?" inquired the soft voice of Teyla, to his far left. John turned from where he, himself had been scrutinising the bars, maybe they were melting after all…just _slowly_… "How'd you guess?" he jestingly asked, the Athosian shrugged back, "I also was remembering such a time…it would make sense if you, Ronan or even Rodney were thinking of it. Besides, it was most hilarious…" She beamed.

Rodney gave up and threw himself down onto the floor, "Ugh, I give up! They're all morons! Why the hell do they think _we _blew up the- Sheppard!" John actually flinched in surprise, "What? It was all exploding-y when I got there! You are _not_ going to pin that on me!" He faced a baleful glare, Ronan's smirk was amused and rather telling… The Scientist's eyes narrowed as SG-1 approached them.

"Ronan, why do I get the feeling you know more about this than you're telling? Seriously, you two, what have I said about playing with Ancient Tech? If it looks dangerous or destructive, no touch-ey! I don't think I could make it any clearer, even for you, Chewbacca!" There was an intimidating gleam to his eyes that had John stepping backwards and Ronan looking rather less certain of his actions. Maybe they _shouldn't_ have touched that little item…especially as it _had_ kind of been under armed guard in Cheyenne Mountain, as in '_the place with all the super-dangerous Alien Tech_' on Earth… Not to mention the little 'Do Not Touch' sign bearing both Samantha Carter and Rodney's signatures.

Sensing massive spontaneous combustion about to occur in the small cell, Teyla took it upon herself to diffuse the situation; placing her body between Rodney and Ronan, John staying steadfastly out of it. "Rodney, you must calm down, I am sure that General O'Neill will understand it was not our fault," she soothed, as ne would to an angered or distressed child, amazingly…it seemed to work. The tension even drained further as she pressed their foreheads together in the Athosian action for peace, the man sighed, "Look, I know I'm cranky but it's not your butts on the line for this. I can already see them pinning the blame solely on me, I'm expendable…they can always find a new Scientist for SGA-1…the rest of you not so much. I'd like to see them try to tell Ronan he can't come back or Teyla, and Sheppard might just as well just sneak the City away in the night… They can't spare all of you, but there's always more Scientists, you'll probably get Zelenka…"

"We do not want another Scientist, Rodney." Teyla soothed, noting the flustered expression setting on his face, he calmed slightly; there was a rapping sound against the bars and all four of SGA-1 whirled about to find General O'Neill, Colonel Samantha Carter, Doctor Daniel Jackson and Teal'c. SG-1 for short…

"I hear you had a little mishap in the Science Labs," O'Neill opened genially, stance easy and hands clasped over the ever-present P-90. He turned to the nearest guard, "Kowansky, let em outta there, no need to lock them up for this…" With a small click of key scraping in lock, the door swung open and SG-1 stepped back to allow SGA-1 to stride from the small cell. "Finally! We've been cooped up in there for ages," John smiled back, he rubbed at the back of his head and ruffled the shaggy hair with an apologetic expression on his face, "Uh, we can explain the whole 'exploding the Science Labs' thing…really."

It was, surprisingly, Samantha who spoke next, "Oh, don't bother. Turns out the Higher ups are a little pissed about it and have decided, in their _infinite wisdom_," her voice dripped with the same sarcasm as if she was describing the consistency of cow dung, "to fire two people for the explosion." There was an intake of breath, sharp and clear in the sudden silence. "Me and Rodney…so I hope it was worth it…"

Her face was pale and tight through the thin smile; Rodney's face drained of colour so completely that John began to get worried, Teyla moved closer in case his legs should no longer support him…not that either of them would ever admit it. Dr Jackson seemed on the verge of speaking, but shut his mouth as Ronan crossed his arms and began to glower at him…Teal'c immediately turned his attention to the situation and began to stare passively back at the Satedan. General O'Neill shifted to place a hand on the forlorn Samantha's shoulder, "Don't worry, I'm not going to let this happen."

"Neither will I, I like our current Geek…don't want to have to break in a new one, the house-training alone is a real pain in the-…" said the spiky haired pilot, halted in his speech by a loud, "Thank you for the _sentiment_." From Rodney, who was throwing a '_Shut it or I'll Hurt you'_ glare at John. Tramping boots made their way towards them from the other end of the corridor, materialising as a small troop of soldiers headed by Senator Kinsey whose smug grin couldn't have grown any wider if he tried. "Can't run now, _Jack_," the walking bucket of slime in a business suit called out, "Carter's ass is mine, so's McKay's…and you can't stop me. The President endorses my decision, you blew up important Ancient Tech, not to mention other personnel."

There was a loud exclamation of disbelief, "He wants my _what?"_

"Yeah but they didn't actually do the 'exploding' personally, that was…well, me and Ronan, at least." Argued Sheppard, glaring at the politician. "Doesn't matter, Sonny Boy… Their name was on the experiment, therefore, anything that goes wrong is instantly assumed to be their fault…therefore, you're both fired!" stated Kinsey with glee; judging from the twitch in General O'Neill's face, Jack was seriously considering beating the snot out of the slimy creature, despite the ramifications. "I wouldn't if I were you…" smirked the man, the face sharpened to a harsh expression, "Seize them!"

Guards tramped forwards.

Rodney threw up his hands, frightened expression on his face as he yelled, Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa! Hang on a minute!" Dr Jackson and Teal'c slipped Colonel Carter behind them and formed a shield as Ronan made to do the same for McKay, but John caught onto something and motioned to him and Ronan. "Look, let's not be hasty…talk this out, find a proper solution…" Jack O'Neill started, only to be cut off as the guards halted and McKay spoke again…

~)0(~

"And might I just take the opportunity to say- RUUUUUUUUUUN!" He, along with Teyla, Ronan and John turned and sprinted down the hallway at alarming speeds. To be frankly honest, Sam was impressed at how fast the Physicist could move when he wanted to…might have something to do with the massive infestation of life-sucking aliens in the Pegasus Galaxy, but hey…if it works…

"After them! This cannot happen, you will belong to me!" screamed an enraged Politician, O'Neill smirked but stayed silent for the moment as Guards took off in pursuit of SGA-1 who were already half-way to the Gate Room by now…no, wait, further than that. Sounds of the Stargate firing up were echoing all over the place as Kinsey suddenly realised he was alone, trapped by the giant wall of Teal'c behind him…Daniel to one side and Sam to the other… His smug expression fell, sweat beads forming on the pale forehead…

General O'Neil stalked back and forth before him with a puzzling smile on his features, twirling something in his hand… "Oh, I think we can spare a little time for negotiation here…don't you think, Kinsey?" he smiled, turning to face the man. "Never…" Kinsey breathed…

"Thought you might say that, ah well…" Jack spun around and shot the man with a Stunner… "Hey Teal'c, I know it's kind of a big ask, but could you pick this piece of meat up, Sam…just _relax_, and Daniel…what was the address of that Wraith World, again?"

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><p><strong>THE END.<strong>

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><p><strong>You loved it, you know it! XD<strong>

**Please REVIEW.**

**~*SailorSilvanesti*~**


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